関係 (Relationships)

Hello everybody!

As always, the gaps between my posts continues to be very long. I know that only few friends of mine read the things that I write here, but even so it is very important for me to have this space and write a little about mine experiences in Japan. My first semester at the University of Tokyo was finally over, but I'm still pretty busy, because of reports and the work at lab. Many times I thought about writing a new poster here, but I was so tired (and a little fed up of everything) that I ended over and over again postponing my post. Now it's 3:42 AM August 9 (a thursday) and, suddenly, I had the inspiration! And today's inspiration is about relationships.

Relationships are always complicated! For me, just thinking about sharing a part (it can be small or big) of your life with another person is something really scary, but also very beautiful: scary because I believe that when you share your life with another person, you inevitably end exposing your weaknesses and fears, becoming more vulnerable to the occurrence of stressful situations; and beautiful because I believe that at the same time that you become so vulnerable, you also open your life to new possibilities, which makes you grow as a person!

And that's why relationships are so important for us: for us to grow. As we live our daily-lives, we end up living everyday repeated routines that put us in a "comfort zone", where we know what to expect and how to react to it. However, as we allow relationships in our lives, new and unpredictable situations pop-up and force us to re-evaluate our actions and ways of thinking. Some people can deal better with this, some worse...

Living by myself here in Japan has led me to think a lot about this, basically because I'm in a situation where this "comfort zone break" is really intense! The culture of japanese people is completely different from brazilian culture. The language also is another barrier, since I'll never be able to express my feelings in Japanese as well as I express in Portuguese (and that isn't a problem of learning japanese language, but a human limitation). Also, the situation that I am exposed now as a whole is really stressful, making me really sentimentally vulnerable.

Saying "I like" or "I care about you" here is way more strong than in Brazil. As well as hearing "I don't care" shouldn't be seem so harsh as it sounds for us, brazilians. Asking if people are ok here can be restricted to physical conditions, while in Brazil can also concern the psychological conditions. Touching is also a difference, since hugs and kisses are more restricted to passional relationships here, while in Brazil it is broadened to other kinds of relationships.

I really don't wanna put a merit of which way of thinking/ behavior is the correct (although I have a personal and strong opinion about this). Instead, what I wanna emphasize here is that these differences really exist and they can make your life really hard here in Japan.  

I'm feeling really sad right now. I believe I'm a really good person, and I always do my best to respect and try to understand the people that are near me. But something that I really don't know how to respond well is to disappointment. I'm really disappointed with someone here and I'm thinking continuously how to react to it. I still don't know the answer, but I'm sure of one thing: this will broaden my understanding about relationships!

I'm crying a lot, feeling really bad, but I'm sure that I'll find a way out... because I have people out there that I know they need me. I really can't understand those people that says that happiness or love exists inside each one of us and that only you existing is enough! I decided to live for other people, to help them, to learn about theirs lives, to become a part of them... and it is from this that I find my happiness... mine desire to continue to struggle! I can't live alone and thanks God I'm not alone! 

秋と冬 (Autumn and Winter)

Hello!!

This post is a little late, but I didn't want to let it go... so I'm going to tell you a little about mine experiences at the Autumn and Winter seasons in Japan... since it's been a few months that I don't post anything here, I surely have a lot of things to tell. However, it's possible that I'll miss some points sometimes... Anyways, I intend to try my best!

The ending of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 were a little confusing for me and a lot happened. First of all, I was really, but really concerned about having to move out from my previous dormitory, in Setagaya District of Tokyo. The dormitory is going to close in april of this year, and everybody was aware of it. However, being a foreign student in Japan can be really a problem for you to find a house, specially if you don't have so much money saved. I'll try to explain briefly the process for renting rooms in Tokyo.

First of all, you have to go to a real state agency (不動産) in order to be able to know the available places. You can do this, mainly, by two means: (1) searching first at the internet websites and making an inquiry (問い合わせ), or (2) going directly to a real state agency in the area that you'd like to live. After you go to the agency, you'll be taken to take a look at the available places, and if it attends to your requirements and it's fitting to your budget, the paper work for the renting starts... and THAT's when thinks get harder!

The first problem is that mostly owners don't like to have foreigners as renters for their rooms, basically because of the communication problem. So, for this, I have a sincere suggestion for those who are thinking about living here in Japan: when you go to a real state agency, TRY TO COMMUNICATE USING JAPANESE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, instead of asking for english attendants. For sure, communication in japanese is extremely hard, but if you build a communication bound with the agency attendant, maybe he/she will be able to help you persuade the owners of the house about you.

Then, to the second main problem, we have the total movie-in cost, which is really high! In Japan, when you rent a room, you have to pay a lot of fees for different purposes, besides a first month rent, by the time you move in. For example, my apartment rent is 58.000 ienes/ month. However, when I moved I had to pay, before-hand, an amount of 160.000 ienes!! It's more than I earn in a month!! In this amount are included: a deposit money (敷金), a key money (礼金), a 1-month rent, fees for cleaning and changing the keys and a fee for the real state agency. So, if you plan to live in Japan, start to save money quickly!

And, finally, the final cost regards the guarantor (保証人). In order for you to rent a house, usually the owners ask for an application at a guarantor company. This company is responsible for covering the costs of the rental, if you don't pay it. In my case, I used a guarantor company from my own university, which is cheaper. But this must be discussed with real state agency staff.

Sooo... after all this paper work, I finally got my new apartment, in Tokyo. He's small, but really nice, and I enjoy everyday that I spend in it! This moving occurred in December of last year, and a couple of weeks later, I traveled back to Brazil to celebrate christmas and new year with my family. But, before, I went on a small hiking trip, to the Mt. Takao (高尾山).

The Mt. Takao is avery well know touristic point of Tokyo, where you can enjoy a walk near the nature. In Autumn, specially, a lot of people gather to climb the mount, because of the changing colors of the leaves (紅葉, which can be read as コウヨウ, or モミジ - a kind of japanese Maple Tree). I put some pictures of this trip here. It's really really beautiful!

In the middle of the way, there was these beautiful spots where you could regain your breath and relax a little looking to the scenery.

A lot of people gathered at these spots, to have lunch, talk and enjoy the nature. The feeling up there was really nice!

Also, at some point, there was this unusual octopus statue. It's said that if you rub this octopus's head, you can get a good fortune. So, a lot of people lined in front of this statue, in order to receive the blessing.

This is an exemple of a beautiful tree with red/ yellow leaves (紅葉). It's so beautiful! I was amazed by these colors! =)

These handrails have names and places written on it. No clue about the reason, but I thought it was really interesting.

These statues can be found not only in Mt. Takao, but also in other parks and temples in Japan. They represent one of the most loved divinities in Japan, called Ojizou-sama (お地蔵様). Tradicionally, the ojizou-sama are protectors of the children, but are also related to the protection of travelers. Usually, these statues can be found around roads, or in graveyards.

Traditionally, the ojizou-sama are protectors of miscarried or aborted fetuses. According to this story, these aborted children are not able to cross the mythical Sanzu River on their way to afterlife. So, the ojizou-sama protect these souls from the demons, hiding them under his robe. That's why people put baby clothes, toys or food next to these statues: in order to help the ojizou-sama in the protection of these children souls.

On the way to the top, there was some nice temples and, of course, the so expected red leaves! Take a look at the pictures....

And that's me after all this walking. Martino (my friend) was really well, but I got really tired by the time we reached the summit. But, the beauty of the scenery was worth it! =)

Now... back to Brazil...

The travel to Brazil is really exhausting! I spent: around 3 hours to get to Narita airport from my house; a couple of hours waiting for the departure time; around 11 hours from Tokyo to Frankfurt; 8 hours (I REPEAT, 8 hours!!) of transit in Frankfurt airport; more 11 hours from Frankfurt to Guarulhos airport; and, finally, around 2 hours to get to my house in Brazil. Total: 35 hours traveling!!!!

Anyway, the trip was really worthy it! It was so good to see one more time all my family and friends... I really miss everybody... everyday! Although my life is very good here in Japan, it really pains me to be so far away from them... I believe that I'll fell the same when I finally go back to Brazil, concerning my new friends here. But this is in the future...

Before departing back to Japan's winter (remembering that it was Summer in Brazil by the time), I went to Satie's birthday party, which also was a farewell party for me! It was really, really hard to say goodbye once again to everybody. Maybe because I was remembering how I feel here without everybody, when I started saying goodbye to everybody, I couldn't avoid to cry. But don't worry, people!  I'm really ok!

So... back to Japan's winter, I just have one think to say: PUTA MERDA, QUE FRIO DO CARAMBA! Hahaha. Yes... I know it's portuguese, but it's really what I feel regarding the cold weather in winter here. I don't like to use air-conditioners, but with this cold it's impossible not to use! Really!

At the first week that I was back to Japan, I went with the University to visit the Edo Museum (江戸博物館) and to see a real Sumo fight (相撲)!! Guys... it's thrilling!! I never thought I would like to watch Sumo... but, when they start to fight, you really can't take the eyes off the fighters(相撲取り)! The fights are really short (about 30 seconds), and the preparations veeeery long. But then, they suddenly rush one to another and start to slap and push each other!! Hahaha! It's crazy!

This guy on the right, with yellow robe is Brazilian!! I don't remember his name, but you can see the Christ Statue from Rio de Janeiro in his robe. There was a Brazil's flag also!

Sorry... I don't have pics from the real moment of the wrestling. It was too fast, and I was always so surprised that I ended not taking pictures xD

But well... back to Japan's winter....

I saw snow!!! Waaa! It's really beautiful! Snowed only for 2 days, but it was enough for me to get to know it... it's kind too wet, too slippery, too cold for me... hehehe!  Take a look at the stairs from my house, the way to the station and the streets of my university below...

It's amazing, isn't it?! ^^

Well... before closing the post: The things at the laboratory are going well also... I've just started a training in extraction, amplification and sequencing of DNA, and, basically, that's my main objective here: to learn how to use molecular tools in my research. So I'm happy! I'm not so good at the lab stuff, but I'm giving my best! Also, soon my classes of the masters will start, and, then, I think that I will really feel like doing something that will be worth!

So it's this... I with some problems with my family, but I believe everything will be okay! I'll keep trying my best!

Hope to post again very soon!
Di